Friday, May 7, 2010

While You Were Busy...

I'm not sure what unique thing there is to say about today's near-meltdown on Wall Street. This post will likely read as if it were parody. "Belongs on the sister site, The Daily Satirist if you had any sense!"

You see, while you were busy commuting and slugging it out through your workday under the shadow of all your usual concerns like bills, health, job status, impending deadlines, family concerns, the price of Viagra etc., Wall Street was busy screwing with the economy and possibly your money and retirement funds again.

Okay, I'll admit that's not exactly shocking.

This however, was a brand new kind of snafu! This was screwing up in new and absurd ways that you probably hadn't imagined those over-paid, lowlife, self-important proponents of class warfare and milion dollar bonuses were capable of. Well, maybe in a lighter moment when, after 17 tequila shots, for the benefit of your friends you concocted a scenario where the whole system comes crashing down all because of a misspell.

You tell your friend through slurred speech that, "Imagine if some banker mistakenly hands over a big cheque with a misspelled word? Instead of this cheque for some purchase being for a million dollars the financier's computer puts a Z where the M should go and the house of cards we're all living under collapses!" You all giggle at the idea. You're pretty funny when you're drunk aren't you?

So today on Wall Street, now don't stop me if you've heard this before, some trader instead of putting an M for million in a trade, placed a B for billion and the hillarity ensued. The massive trade causes a selloff to begin and then prices dropped and at certain drop levels automatic selling kicks in and before you know it... poof! The Dow has plunged more than 900 points and fortunes of paper money have been made and lost.

After things settled down there was a recovery of about 600 points but it was down 347 for the day. Poof! Pretty funny huh? Feel like a shot of tequila?

Here's the CNBC guys losing their stuff during four very exciting minutes.

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